1.Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
2.Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3.Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4.They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.
5.A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
6.Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7.Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
8.You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.
9.True friends stab you in the front.
10.Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11.Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12.Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13.My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
14.Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15.Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16.It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17.They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18.Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19.Wise men talk because they have something to say;
fools talk because they have to say something.
20.Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Just Enjoy..............
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me..
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time
to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight,
dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me..
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time
to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight,
dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
BOYES VS GIRLS
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with
her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from CHENNAI.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true
huh?)
If u don't make love with her., she says! u don't Love
her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are
TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!
her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from CHENNAI.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true
huh?)
If u don't make love with her., she says! u don't Love
her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are
TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
THAT MAKES SENSE
1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life.
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.
3. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world.
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking.
4. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
5. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said he who never lived, cannot die.
6. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles !
7. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,but we chose Marriage, slow sure !
8. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends !
9. All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else .
10. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi.
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di.
11. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,When tears flows from your eyes always say these words.
12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking.
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.
3. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world.
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking.
4. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.
5. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said he who never lived, cannot die.
6. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles !
7. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,but we chose Marriage, slow sure !
8. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends !
9. All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else .
10. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi.
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di.
11. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,When tears flows from your eyes always say these words.
12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)